women, combat and COD: guest blog

Hi readers! It seems disingenuous to apologize for my lack of posting lately because to be honest I have been super-busy with a new job that is AMAZINGLY AWESOME. So you'll forgive me if my humble little hobby blog is a bit slow these days. With that said, I'd like to present the first ever Paranoid Emdroid Guest Blog! Please enjoy.

“Women in Combat” by Wolfgang Hammersmith

Women in the US Military: New Status?

Contrary to general public knowledge, women have served as active warfighters in combat in the US Military since the formation of the United States.
In many cases, their heroic participation was kept from the history books but recently there was an announcement by the US Military that women will now be considered as standard US combat personnel. This is odd as something old is being called “new.”

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i support all girl gamers

I mean it when I say that. I don't care if you play the games I play, you love sports games, ultra-girl-oriented games. I'm just glad that girls play games. Which is why I was slightly tickled (if not, to use her words, annoyed) to find a mention of my lil' blog at a new video game blog called OneGirlGamer. As I said, I'm happy to see anything out there about games from a girl's perspective but apparently she doesn't quite feel the same way!

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friday gaming rant

It's been a crazy few weeks for me lately, I am in the process of moving on top of taking on full-time hours at my job so sadly I haven't yet been able to keep up with my resolution to post more often here. That doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about gaming on the regular though! Playing games is another story at the moment. It's been weeks since I've played a game other than Sims 3 and it's been days since I've played that! Bah, boo moving!

...Anyway. I have been in the car way more lately than I like to be and have been thinking a lot about the state of gaming and video game development in the last few years. I won't go too crazy ranting here... yet... but I wanted to introduce a new topic for discussion which is: What the fuck has happened to gamers' expectations?

I mean really. Maybe I just don't get the genres of games that sell in numbers today, but everything just seems so... dumbed down. The top games that get the best review scores and the widest demand just seem so... similar. All of them. You watch pretty cutscenes, you run around with one analog stick and control your camera with the other, and you hit a variety of buttons to kill stuff or blow stuff up. Different enemies, different weapons, different map textures, higher resolution... this is what is touted as depth in games today it seems like. I can be impressed by more advanced AI that games use to ramp up the challenge, but ultimately there is just nothing to video games anymore past shiny graphics, shooting control schemes and item/weapon collection. Now and then a game with a great plot comes out that manages to sell but for the most part the plotlines and story of popular games are just... not important it seems.

I've already gone farther than I meant to right now but I would be really interested in what anyone (anyone? Bueller?) might think about this topic. I know franchises like Halo and Call of Duty have hordes of followers that are happy to defend them but I'm just saddened by the way smaller, deeper, BETTER games just aren't getting made anymore. And when they are, no one buys them!

Future more specific topics on this theme will include:

• What Ever Happened To Adventure Games?
• Just Because I Don't Have A Dick Doesn't Mean I Want Games About Babyz and Ponyz*
• Why Video Games Are Not A Good Replacement For Socializing With Friends In Person
• The Lack Of Puzzles That Make You Think At All
• Don't Make Movie-based Games, Make Movie-LIKE Games!

...and more. Don't touch that dial! But in the meantime if you read this blog and have an opinion on the matter please elaborate in the comments.

*Note: I might actually enjoy a game about Ponyz. But definitely, definitely not Babyz.

nintendo ds as a learning tool

The Nintendo DS arguably already has the distinction of being the console with the widest variety of "game" software including fitness programs, photography manipulation and language teaching tools, along with actual games, of course. Now Nintendo is taking the DS one step further towards education. Nintendo announced today in Japan that it will partner with Sharp to develop a new educational tool called Nintendo DS Classroom, which will allow a teacher's PC to communicate with DS or DSi units in a classroom using special DS cartridges. Sounds like DS Classroom can be used to give tests and receive real-time answers as well as conduct classroom surveys over the connection. It seems like an obvious plan to eventually integrate math and vocabulary games and other learning software into the usage of this system, which could really keep kids more focused on learning in the classroom. Plus, just as many girls are into the DS as boys (possibly more even) so teachers wouldn't even need to worry about gender and teaching effectiveness. I say bring it on!

IGN: DS in the Classroom

rhythm heaven is awesome

It’s been a long month and a half since Rhythm Heaven was released for the Nintendo DS but I finally got my hands on a copy and let me tell you, the wait was worth it! Rhythm Heaven is so much fun. Comprised of simple yet deceptively challenging little music and rhythm games, Rhythm Heaven demands some serious concentration and pinpoint accuracy at times so start working on your stylus flicks. The animation style is adorable and “wiggly” with simple stick-figure graphics that leave room for the gameplay mechanics to really shine. Prepare to be challenged and frustrated but also motivated as the game will occasionally entice you with unlockable prizes for achieving perfect scores. All in all, Rhythm Heaven is an extremely fun game title for guy and girl gamers of all ages who like to jam out to cute little songs.

cellphones, videogames not that horrible for kids

Yet another study has concluded that, while it's easy to find coincidence between kids who play video games and those with poorer grades, in general using cellphones and videogames didn't really take away from the important skills like math and visual/spatial learning that kids are developing in school. The study also indicated that while girls use cellphones way more than boys they are nowhere near the level of videogame consumption of their male counterparts, and this could present a problem in learning development:

Jackson said it’s unrealistic to think kids will stop playing video games, so video game developers should focus more on the elements that develop visual-spatial skills and less on themes such as violence. Also, more games should be developed that appeal to girls to better develop their visual-spatial skills, which are essential in professions such as surgery, she said.

“Girls are at a disadvantage by not having that three-dimensional experience,” Jackson said. “So when they get to medical school and they’re doing surgery in the virtual world, they’re not used to it.”

Video Games, Cell Phones and Academic Performance: Some Good News

ds games to come in 2009

Now that the DSi has finally launched you can bet we will be seeing more and more titles coming out for the Nintendo DS/DSi in the coming year. Granted, there's a ton of crap coming out, much of it aimed at little girls (Girl Time? Imagine: Makeup Artist? Barf.) but still, there are quite a few titles that have already piqued my interest. Here are three of them:

Sherlock Holmes: The Mystery of the Mummy (ships 5/26/09). Sounds like another hopefully good point-and-click mystery adventure surrounding a murder most foul. The plot involves archaeology and a mummy and claims to have many challenging riddles and puzzles to solve.

Miami Law (ships 6/9/09). Another adventure game although this one is a little more action-y as well. IGN calls it somewhat Phoenix Wright-like in its graphic novel format which sounds like my cup of tea, plus it just looks kind of cool!

Flower Sun and Rain (ships 6/16/09). From Killer 7 and No More Heroes creator Suda51, this is actually a remake of a PS2 game. The plot follows the main character as he experiences the same day - and terrorist attack - over and over at a hotel and must figure out why. This one's getting a lot of hype and hopefully will incorporate some creative touch-screen functions into the game along with many new puzzles that have been added from the PS2 version.

Check out more Coming Soon DS titles here.

harvest moon ds: island of happiness

I picked up Harvest Moon DS: Island of Happiness the other day and man, it is like crack to me! I start playing and before I know it it's been four hours of planting, weeding, walkin' around and buying stuff for the farm. I actually think this is my favorite format of Harvest Moon that I've played and the sprites and backrounds look great on the DS's screens. Having the choice of boy or girl character and the resulting bachelors/bachelorettes in town makes this game a good one for guys and girl gamers alike. The touch controls complement this game wonderfully and I looove the Pet the Animal minigame! So cute. If you're a fan of the series Island of Happiness is definitely a must-have.

nancy drew on ds is meh

I am willing to try pretty much any game in the hunt for truly enjoyable adventure point-and-click titles, especially on the DS. Which is why I wanted to give Nancy Drew and the Deadly Secret of Olde World Park a fair shot. Despite having a 10-word title, there's really not much to this game. It's linear to a fault and you pretty much can't miss anything. The minigames are super easy and the controls are kinda lame in their minimal use of touch controls. Having to use the d-pad and the stylus doesn't work for me as a lefty so games that pull that automatically piss me off a little. Anyway, I'd recommend this for a young girl who loves Nancy Drew or anyone who needs a super easy introduction to adventure gaming.

peachy!

One of my new acquisitions this week was Super Princess Peach which I just couldn't turn down as I looove the adorable pink princess. I always thought it was a little lame that the princess always had to be saved by Mario and friends so I'm all about the idea of Peachy having her own story and having to go rescue those dumb Italians from Bowser for once. The jury is still out on whether it's offensive or hilarious that Peach's special moves all come from manipulating her emotions - crying with Gloom to water plants, using Rage pyro skills to burn bridges, floating in the air with Joy or healing yourself with Calm. I'm going to go with "offensively hilarious" although "hilariously offensive" works too. Really though I'm enjoying this game a lot, it's great fun to get back to the side-scrolling adventures in Mario world that got many of us into gaming in the first place but with a spiffy new heroine. The controls are pretty nice in this game although I'd love to see a game more obviously designed for the DS - this one has minimal touch controls aside from some mini-games and the emotion ("Vibe") controller on the bottom screen which really works better to hit with thumbs than the stylus, and no one likes touching the DS screen with fingers, at least I don't. Thank goodness for screen protectors. Still, as I said I'm finding this game a welcome addition to all the gloomy mystery games I've been playing lately and any fan of Princess Peach should check out this lovely girly game.

sooo many ds titles to play

I have recently saddled myself with way too many DS games and now need to stop myself from buying any more and start actually beating the ones I have. I still have to do a second playthrough of Trace Memory, Dementium: the Ward is super scary and pretty hard, CrosswordsDS never gets old, and Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass is super long and occasionally just the right amount of frustrating, as any good Zelda game should be. Now I also have added Time Hollow (I had a change of heart and decided I like it) and a beautifully animated gothic horror adventure game called Theresia to my collection as well. These two both deal with mature themes (though Time Hollow is T for teen) and are quite enjoyable so far so now I just need to rotate between like six games. I haven't played a console in weeks!

terrible box art of 2008

Normally I don't just lift all my post ideas from other sites but I can't help but make mention of another Games Radar article that is cracking me up today. Check out the Worst Box Art of 2008. Along with many "girl game" titles, multiple Pet/Petz franchise covers, a neglected watermark and a game about chaotic air traffic control released on 9/11/08, the author takes time to highlight the horror that is the cover of Imagine: Party Babyz:

If you could somehow draw a picture of the sound made when a game journalist’s mind rips in half, it would look like this. If you could distill everything wrong with the casual-gaming movement into a single image – every horrible minigame, every half-assed “girl” game, every misguided purchase by a well-intentioned grandmother, every cynical piece of shovelware ever shat onto a store shelf by some fly-by-night cabal of predatory monsters - this would be that image.

Also? “Babies” is misspelled.

yet more reasons not to support xbox live

I guess the monthly subscription fee wasn't enough of a kick in the balls from Xbox Live, because they seem to have staunchly set standards for their online service to really screw over quite a few loyal gamers out there. First it turned out that if your free email account from Hotmail or Yahoo expired and was the email you signed up with for XBL, your gamertag expired along with it with no hope of recovering achievements or gamer scores that went with it. Now it turns out that Microsoft feels so strongly about certain "offensive" buzzwords that gamertags with words like "gay" or "Jew" in them are getting banned. One girl who identified herself as a lesbian in her profile was actually personally kicked off XBL after being harrassed repeatedly by other members. People are assholes as we all know, but it just seems worse when a company like Microsoft is willing to ban the expression of one's identity. Nevermind the hordes of thirteen-year old boys engaging in violent and misogynistic games while calling each other faggots. I guess the use of the word 'gay' is only offensive if you're talking about yourself actually being gay, according to Microsoft anyway.

worst. game. ever!

Hah. It figures that of all the crap games out there made for dudes, of course the game to receive one of the lowest scores ever on IGN would be one targeted at girls! Action Girlz Racing (the name kind of says it all) scored a whopping 0.8 in a recent review, causing IGN to declare it the worst game of '08, which is really something considering how many bad Wii games were released in 2008. This review is worth reading just for the funny factor, as many negative reviews are. Enjoy!

You could turn left, as the arrows suggest. Or you could just keep driving straight, because the wall would probably just let you pass right through anyway.

IGN: Action Girlz Racing

more about violent video games

In the latest study of stuff people do when they have also been playing video games, it has been shown that young people who play violent video games tend to drink more and do more drugs, sleep around and in generally be worse people than those who don't. Dudes are especially guilty, playing more games and especially way more violent games than chicks. As usual, this study merely shows that young people tend to do many things that are bad for them, including but not limited to drinking, drug use, promiscuity, and video games. And just when you thought Wii users might be the most pacifist of the gaming community, something redonkulous like this happens. Who would have even concieved of a Wiimote as a deadly weapon? That guy, I guess!

Playing Violent Video Games Has Risks: study

nintendo hearts old gamers

A new study has shown that twice as many older gamers prefer Nintendo to Playstation; big surprise, I know! This statistic is definitely the effect of a calculated marketing strategy on Nintendo's part to target the 40+ market with game titles like Brain Age, Wii Fit and other self-improvement games that can help keep the grayhair gamers out there sharp. Also, turns out that chicks make up the majority of the older gamers! While women make up 46% of 18 to 24 year old gamers, they are 55% of the 65+ers!

Nintendo Wins the Graying Gamers

ubisoft hearts little girl gamers

If you've been in a game store and browsed the DS section recently you surely have noticed Ubisoft's new line of Imagine games aimed at young girls. Movie Star, Rock Star, Teacher, and most popular, Fashion Designer, and more to come I'm sure. Of course some people are concerned about the gender-specific message these games are sending little girls that play them but I agree with the argument about the difference in what boys and girls want out of their gaming experience. Boys like blowing stuff up, girls like creating and customizing. Whether it is with animals, clothes or whatever, little girls like making stuff and sharing it. I only wish the DS had existed when I was young enough to enjoy all the horse games and other animal-related DS games out there. I probably would have even been interested in Fashion Designer - I know my boyfriend's little cousin basically hasn't put hers down since getting it for Christmas. Personally I'm all for anything that encourages girls to think about careers of any sort and get them working creatively from a young age. I will say that Ubisoft should get some sports-related girl games out there, or some more boy-themed Imagine games to balance out the girly ones. And I don't have much love for the ones about babies.

Yes, girls really do want games about fashion

looking for a ds for the special woman in your life?

Daughter, wife, girlfriend, sister, mother, aunt, friend, whoever! If you have an awesome chick in your life who wants a Nintendo DS this holiday season, consider the Limited Edition Pink Ribbon DS Lite. Same price as the normal Lite but $5 from each unit sold gets donated to Susan G. Komen for the Cure. I know it's not October anymore but breast cancer does exist year-round and it's a great cause to support with video game dollars!

fine decor in our apartment

Click picture at left for full size view of my newest wall decoration, a life-size Fallout 3 Vault Dweller. I think it really adds a woman's touch, don't you think?

introducing paranoid emdroid recommends

I mention a lot of products here so I figured I might as well add them to an Amazon.com a-store and cash in. Lots of stuff that guy and girl gamers alike will enjoy. From now on you'll see featured games and other products related to stuff I've been talking about in a box on the right. So if you have a minute check out all of my awesome recommendations (not just games but books and movies as well!) and buy them as gifts for your loved ones. Or for yourself.

paranoid emdroid recommends... @ a-store